For starters, they’re never going to win any speed races. It’s almost faster to walk up the stairs to my floor than it is to ride the elevator. Seriously. And of course, this means you have to wait a good bit of time for them to show up after you push the button.
And wait. And wait. Because see, there’s another little problem with them. You hit the call button, and both of them respond. So, not only do they move as slow as turtles racing through peanut butter, but in effect, we only have one to use.
Oh, but we’re not done. Just today I got into the elevator, pushed the button for my floor, and nothing happened. The doors didn’t close. So, I got out and went to the other elevator (remember, they both come when you call), and the same thing happened there. Three tries it took.
But I’ve saved the best for last. I would venture to say about once a week someone comes into the office with the now familiar warning, “be careful with the elevators, I just got stuck”. Yep. You guessed it. They pause for breaks between floors frequently.
Years ago I worked for a woman who refused to ride the elevator. When she’d have to go downtown to our corporate headquarters, she’d take the stairs, all 30+ floors of them. Now I understand why she did it. She must have worked in this building once upon a time. :/